I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize