Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
