I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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