One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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