Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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