So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
