I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
