remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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