don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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