So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
