I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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