The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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