We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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