beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
