please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
