isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
