thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
