So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
