I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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