wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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