i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
