She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
