i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize