you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
