Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.

(1-810): View more from Michigan

Holy shittt I don't even have a bf

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(703): View more from Virginia

i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?

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(425): View more from Washington

You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.

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(513): View more from Ohio

She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy

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(541): View more from Oregon

he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?

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(805): View more from California

You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way

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(618): View more from Illinois

I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.

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(805): View more from California

If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?

(1-805): View more from California

Only if you start before I get home!

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