2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
