Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
