So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
