At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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