brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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