I wish life had little blips of pornography
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
