We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
