I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
