when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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