I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
