no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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