i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
