just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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