i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
