Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
vagina is talking i cant
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize