Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
