the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
