I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
no you cant smoke seaweed
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
