Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
