just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
