we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Randomize
