I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
