so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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