But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
