But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
