1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
