Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
