I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Randomize
