Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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