Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I have already put on my inside pants.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
