her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
