Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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