after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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