I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Randomize
