I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize