hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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