if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize