he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Be still, my beating vagina.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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