I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
