just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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