I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Randomize
