I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
