My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
